Smoke Shops That Sell Synthetic Urine Near Me?! [My Story]
This is a personal story to help people who are searching online for smoke shops that sell synthetic urine near them.
I had a similar experience two years ago, and I want to help. It was a nightmare that I learned a huge lesson from, and I want to pass that on to my children. I don’t want you to experience the panic I felt about potentially losing my job because of being a regular weed smoker, it’s something I don’t want you to experience.
So I’m going to tell you my story. About how I got caught out, my race to find fake pee for sale locally, and why that “Where can I buy synthetic urine near me?” panic moment should never happen.
The Nightmare Of A Drug Test At Short Notice
Two years ago, I had to take a drug test. Five hours’ notice is what I am talking about when I talk about short notice. I was told by my boss that it was going to happen when I got to work. He said that the testing would go on until the office closes at six.
I knew I would get caught out because I was a chronic weed smoker. I think my boss may have saved my job if he had given me a heads up.
I knew I was going to be tested for drugs in the next few hours, but I didn’t know how long it was going to take. I had to get some fake urine and keep it at the right temperature all afternoon.
Usually, I have Sub Solution to hand. In fact, Quick Luck had just come out as well at that time a couple of years ago, and that’s basically a premixed Sub Solution. So I was going to buy that to put in my locker, for just such an emergency situation.
I didn’t have time to do it and the Sub Solution was at my house. I was stuck with what was available in the area around me, so I was able to get in a 45 minute lunch break.
When I searched for smoke shops that sell synthetic urine near me, I only found two, and one of them was an absolute nightmare.
The Search For Synthetic Urine Near Me
I hope you can see that nightmare situation unfolding. I knew I would get caught if I submitted a urine sample.
I was lucky that there were a couple of places that were close to my workplace that I could find synthetic urine at. You would not be that lucky in a lot of towns and cities.
After my lunch break, I had to get out of the building and find some fake pee for sale, then get back into work and submit it. I was sweating so much that I really was feeling anxious.
Smoke shop near me that sells synthetic urine.
As I suspected, the first smoke shop near me at the time sold only poor quality fake urine brands at a really high price.
I think it was Synthetix5 and they had several. All of the old formulas contained biocide, an artificial preservative that drug testing labs are now able to test for to rule out fake samples, and just not good enough quality.
I asked the guy behind the counter if there were any other brands of fake urine, but he just shrugged his shoulders. In case the second smokeshop didn’t have anything, I purchased a box of Magnum.
I knew that the Magnum would be better than nothing, and I know a lot of people who have failed using it, so I was desperate. Thankfully, I was able to throw it in the bin.
The smokeshop had a monkey.
When I walked into the second smokeshop that actually sold synthetic urine near me at the time I felt a wave of relief, because it was a little better and sold Monkey Whizz. Actually it was Monkey Flask, monkey whizz is the urinary belts, but people tend to call urine products they sell “Monkey Whizz”.
They had that and U Pass (which is also a brand of fake urine you should never trust). So it was the best of the bunch. They didn’t even have Quick Fix, which would have been slightly better choice the Monkey Whizz.
If you are facing a basic drug test, Monkey Whizz is a decent brand. If they are only testing for the presence of the real basics of urea, uric acid, and creatinine, then they don’t see anything wrong, so they aren’t interested when you hand the sample over.
How I Passed The Test Using Fake Pee From A Local Store
I was able to get Monkey wiggling. It is not bad, but it is not good when you compare it to Sub Solution.
There are chemical markers found in human urine. It doesn’t contain biocide, and you don’t need a heat pad or microwave to warm it up. It can raise the temperature of the liquid in about 30 seconds, if you just tap a little in and agitate it.
I got back into the office and had to get the stuff ready. I needed to get the heatpad activated and get the sample at the correct temperature so I could keep it on myself all day.
There was no one in the lunch room. There is a microwave in the lunchroom for people to heat up the food they bring into the office, which was a blessing.
The sample could be run under the hot tap in the restroom, though it was a big risk. I assumed that if someone walked in, they would be more likely to spot what I was doing than if I heard the door go behind me.
The sample was quickly microwaved for 30 seconds after I sat down with my back to the door. It started to register on the temperature strip, which was good enough for me. I put the heat pad on, tucked it in my underwear, and got out of the room, dumping the box in the waste bin on the way out.
I had to wait another two hours, but when I was called, I just had to go into the restroom and bring the sample back to them. I was not a problem because I was in another room when I poured the Monkey Whizz into the sample vial.
Where Can I Buy Synthetic Urine?
I hope you don’t have a situation like that. I got used to it and wasn’t prepared for it.
Most people won’t be able to find fake pee for sale near them at short notice. Unless you live in a big city, you are going to struggle. It’s difficult to get hold of anything that could pass a drug test at such a short notice, even if you find the stuff.
My advice is to never use smoke shops, petrol stations, or local convenience stores to get fake urine. It will be poor quality, something could be missing, it could be out of date, and you have no idea.
To steer clear of having to get on your phone and type in that spine chilling search term “smoke shops that sell synthetic urine near me”, my advice is that. The lesson I learned was that you need to prepare better than that guy.
If you want to get a bottle for a drug test in the next few days, you are going to hit the same problem I did in terms of quality. panicking on the day of your test is not the only thing. My advice is still the same.
When it comes to answering the question of where to buy synthetic urine, the answer is to buy it online in advance. It is what you need to do if you have a drug test today or in a couple of days.
For me, a detox drink was out as well. I could have got one in Walmart, but I knew I was riddled with drug toxins, and that would have been even more likely to fail than poor quality synthetic urine. With a detox drink, you usually need to do a 48-hour detox and abstain for 72 hours for them to work if you are a chronic weed smoker or something like that.
The moral of the story is to prepare. Don’t look for a place to buy synthetic urine, just order it right now. If you buy Quick Luck, the new and premixed version of Sub Solution, you will only need 30 seconds to prepare the sample, because it has a year shelf life. As long as the temperature strip register, you can submit it, just pour in the heat activator powder.
If you are caught out with a drug test at short notice, then just buy it online from somewhere like TestNegative. They offer express shipping that will get it to most places in the USA within 24 hours or two days at the most.
I wouldn’t be doing that again for me. I learned a huge lesson from almost getting caught out, and I want to pass it on to you guys right now.
You can get a Quick Luck or Sub Solution. I would buy Quick Luck if you were going to keep it at work. It can be prepared in a locker room, a toilet cubicle, in the cab of a van, or in the back of the truck.